Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Fire extinguishers: 1668

How to make dainty sport with a Cat.
"Dainty"; this should be nice.
If you will have some sport with a Cat, then get a little Bell, such as the tame Hawkes have at their legs, and tye the Bell something hard...
Uh oh!
...at the end of the Cats taile, and let her go, the feeling, of her tail smart, and hearing of the Bell gingle, she will run up and down as if she were mad, flying against the walls and windows...
Okay, that was pretty awful.
Some have shod a Cat round, with putting melted Pitch into four Walnut-shels, and placing her feet therein, and she will make pretty sport.
Oh My God!
I was told of a merry Fellow that came into an Ale-house in cold weather, and finding but a reasonable Fire, said, He would make the Cat piss it out, and watching his oppertunity, he getteth his Hostesses Cat, putting her head betwixt his thighs, and holding her four feet fast in one hand, and with the other hand held up her taile near the fire, and did piss such aboundance that she quite quenched the same.
Ha!

--From A Rich Cabinet--

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