Sexy Tranny, circa 1600

I grew as impudent a thief, and as dexterous as ever Moll Cutpurse was, though, if fame does not belie her, not half so handsome.

--From Moll Flanders--

Moll Cutpurse, AKA Mal Cutpurse, AKA Mary Frith; thief, pimp and cross-dresser. She was also known for smoking which was said to have added years to her life.

Retirement planning, 1722 edition

...but this I knew, that Maryland, Pennsylvania, East and West Jersey, New York, and New England lay all north of Virginia, and that they were consequently all colder climates, to which for that very reason, I had an aversion. For that as I naturally loved warm weather, so now I grew into years I had a stronger inclination to shun a cold climate. I therefore considered of going to Caroline, which is the only southern colony of the English on the continent of America...

--From Moll Flanders--

Even before America was an independent country, old people wanted to move south.

Familiarity Breeds Contempt, 1722 edition

But how hell should become by degree so natural, and not only tolerable, but even agreeable, is a thing unintelligible but by those who have experienced it, as I have.

--From Moll Flanders--

BONUS 600 BC (original) edition:

When first the Fox saw the Lion he was terribly frightened, and ran away and hid himself in the wood. Next time however he came near the King of Beasts he stopped at a safe distance and watched him pass by. The third time they came near one another the Fox went straight up to the Lion and passed the time of day with him, asking him how his family were, and when he should have the pleasure of seeing him again; then turning his tail, he parted from the Lion without much ceremony.

--From Aesop's Fables (The Fox and The Lion)--

I always thought "familiarity breeds contempt" was somehow negative, but the idea has a positive side. It makes sunshine out of darkness.

Vanity, 1722 edition

I dressed me to all the advantage possible, I assure you, and for the first time used a little art; I say for the first time, for I had never yielded to the baseness of paint before, having always had vanity enough to believe I had no need of it.

--From Moll Flanders--

If you think you're beautiful why would you put on make-up? Doesn't every dab and stroke say you think you're ugly?

Temptations, 1722 edition

Let them remember that a time of distress is a time of dreadful temptation...

--From Moll Flanders--

Is it any wonder that those most in distress are those most prone to temptation?

Life without contraception, 1722 edition

...but she was full of this argument, that she save the life of many an innocent lamb, as she called them, which would otherwise perhaps have been murdered; and of many women who, made desperate by the misfortune, would otherwise be tempted to destroy their children, and bring themselves to the gallows...

...The only thing I found in all her conversation on these subjects that gave me any distaste, was, that one time in discouraging about my being far gone with child, and the time I expected to come, she said something that looked as if she could help me off with my burthen sooner, if I was willing; or, in English, that she could give me something to make me miscarry...

... 'Why, first,' says I, 'you give a piece of money to these people to take the child off the parent's hands, and to take care of it as long as it lives. Now we know, mother,' said I, 'that those are poor people, and their gain consists in being quit of the charge as soon as they can; how can I doubt but that, as it is best for them to have the child die...

--From Moll Flanders--

A rainy day circa 1580

I read this in Moll Flanders:

...I took care to lay up as much money as I could for a wet day...

and went looking for the origin of the idiom "to save for a rainy day". I found it was from a play, The Bugbears, by John Jeffere/Jefferay/Jefferie (they can't agree on the spelling) but couldn't find how it was actually used. Here it is:

wold he have me kepe nothyng agaynst a raynye day?

Would he have me keep nothing against a rainy day?

You have got to love the spelling. My thanks to Google book search. Link to text (see page 26)

The purpose of marriage circa 1722

...it was requisite to a whore to be handsome, well-shaped, have a good mien and a graceful behaviour; but that for a wife, no deformity would shock the fancy, no ill qualities the judgment; the money was the thing; the portion was neither crooked nor monstrous, but the money was always agreeable, whatever the wife was.

--From Moll Flanders--

I think I have to put "traditional family values" in scare quotes from now on.

Self destruction

It was indeed a subject of strange reflection to me to see men who were overwhelmed in perplexed circumstances, who were reduced some degrees below being ruined, whose families were objects of their own terror and other people's charity, yet while a penny lasted, nay, even beyond it, endeavouring to drown themselves, labouring to forget former things, which now it was the proper time to remember, making more work for repentance, and sinning on, as a remedy for sin past.

--From Moll Flanders--

Take away a man's hope and he'll take away the rest.

The trouble with vanity

If a young woman once thinks herself handsome, she never doubts the truth of any man that tells her he is in love with her...

--From Moll Flanders--

People want to feel love so much now-a-days, that this quality of vanity makes it a virtue instead of a vice.

Leaked sex tape, 1722 edition

...was Twelve Year a Whore, five times a Wife (whereof once to her own Brother), Twelve Year a Thief, Eight Year a Transported Felon in Virginia, at last grew Rich, liv'd Honest, and dies a Penitent. Written from her own Memorandums …

--From Moll Flanders--

We could use this as a soundtrack, to class it up: