The mail, 1836 edition

Our subscribers, during this season of the year, must have a little patience with us. Our work is always ready in time, but we cannot control the elements. The box containing December numbers, for our Eastern agents, was shipped early in December. Where the vessel got to with them, we are unable to say,—but they did not arrive in Boston until a few days before the January number. Large as the box is, it will in future be sent by rail-road line and steam-boat. Mail subscribers are also liable to disappointments. A few days since, a bundle was returned us from the Post Office, containing a lot of December numbers reduced to a jelly, and looking like the material in a paper-maker's vat, absolutely reduced to first principles.

--From The Lady's Book--

Body issues, 1852 edition

--From Moniteur de la Mode--

In the past, the media didn't warp women's minds and make them think of themselves as ugly. They could be any size they wanted; well, except in one part of the body. Fortunately, early and continued use of a corset would ensure the skeletal changes and organ displacement required for the perfect figure.

America, 1860 edition

But, for profound seriousness of statement, is there anything outrageous in even American romance to match the subjoined paragraph in the President's Message to Congress?--

"It is a striking proof of the sense of justice which is inherent in our people that the property in slaves has never been disturbed, to my knowledge, in any of the territories. Even throughout the late troubles in Kansas there has not been any attempt, as I am credibly informed, to interfere, in a single instance, with the right of the master. Had any such attempt been made, the judiciary would doubtless have afforded an adequate remedy. Should they fail to do this hereafter, it will then be time enough to strengthen their hands by further legislation. Had it been decided that either Congress or the territorial Legislature possess the power to annul or impair the right to property in slaves, the evil would be intolerable."

...But to talk of this right of property in Slaves, as though under a solemn conviction of its moral existence, is surely possible only to those who are inspired with that peculiar sentiment which Mr. Buchanan happily describes as "the sense of justice which is inherent in our people."

--From Punch, or The London Charivari--

We are informed that the President also took time in the same speech, to say how awful the slave trade was. America, with all her talk of "freedom" must have looked like the worst hypocrite imaginable. Thank goodness that problem ended with slavery.

The Pope, 1860 edition

Alarming Accident to the Pope

His Holiness, in promenading yesterday on the Corso, met with a sad accident. His foot slipping in a puddle of blood, he fell and broke his head. The accident has been pronounced to be a fracture of the temporal bone.

--From Punch, or The London Charivari--

That was supposed to be a joke, from a publication similar to Mad Magazine, but much more serious and political. Almost every issue piled scorn upon His Holiness.



I suppose this is the price you may have to pay if you insist on mixing your politics and your religion.

Home, sweet home; 1796 edition

According to Google Books this was the first mention of the phrase in English:

Sing a sweet melodious measure,
Waft enchanting lays around ;
Home, a theme replete with pleasure,
Home, a grateful theme, resound !

Chorus:

Home, sweet home ! an ample treasure !
Home ! with ev'ry blessing crown'd !
Home ! perpetual source of pleasure !
Home ! a noble strain resound !

--From The Beauties of England and Wales; Volume VI--

This was an English translation of a Latin song, Dolce Domum, sung by students at Winchester College just before they went home for summer. At the time of its translation it was considered to be about 100 years old.

Here is the song being performed.

CD player, 1889 edition

According to the patent, the invention wasn't the entire piano, just an attachment that let you play recordings on it with a crank. Fun times.

Completely modern, 1823 edition

Mercury and lead, manufactured in various forms, are unhappily too common ingredients in many of our modern cosmetics...

--From A Modern System of Domestic Cookery--

Everyone who has ever lived, has lived in modern times.

Here's some modern music:



It turns out "Home, Sweet Home" is from an opera. The song became a pop hit, and all those needlepoints with the words "Home Sweet Home" on them are actually homemade memorabilia!

Brokeback Mountain, 1895 edition

That dance club looks really lame.

Clearasil, 1823 edition

To such females as are determined to make use of cosmetics, instead of attending to the more effectual means to preserve the bloom of the skin, it may be of service to point out one or two external applications, in order to prevent them from resorting to the dangerous and destructive contrivances of quacks.—According to Dr. Withering, a physician of great eminence at Birmingham, an infusion of horse-radish in milk, makes one of the safest and best cosmetics.

To deal with pimples they recommended a mixture of horseradish and milk. Both milk, fresh from a cow, and horseradish have antibacterial properties, so the remedy is at least plausible.

However:

Carefully avoid all immoderate and violent dancing, as the sudden alternations of heat and cold, not only impair the general state of the skin, but are likewise of the greatest detriment to beauty. Abstain from the too frequent and copious use of heating liquors of every kind, particularly punch and strong wines. Avoid, farther, every excess in hot drinks, as coffee, chocolate, tea, particularly the last. Tea taken hot, and in immoderate quantities, not only has a tendency to weaken the organs of digestion, but it causes fluctuations and congestions in the humours of the face, and frequently brings on a degree of debilitating perspiration.

--From A Modern System of Domestic Cookery--

Six-pack abs, 1894 edition

They've always gotten attention, and they let you walk around in your underwear. For comparison, here's a crowded beach in 1901. Try counting how many people don't have shirts on:

Views on Homosexuality, 1894 edition

We have shown the special functions and really indispensable import of the homogenic or comrade love, in some form, in national life, and it is high time now that the modern States should recognise this in their institutions—instead of (as is also done in schools and places of education) by repression and disallowance perverting the passion into its least satisfactory channels. If the dedication of love were a matter of mere choice or whim, it still would not be the business of the State to compel that choice; but since no amount of compulsion can ever change the homogenic instinct in a person, where it is innate, the State in trying to effect such a change is only kicking vainly against the pricks of its own advantage—and trying, in view perhaps of the conduct of a licentious few, to cripple and damage a respectable and valuable class of its own citizens.

--From the educational pamphlet Homogenic Love--

The author also makes the claim that free societies benefit from homosexuals since they are often unencumbered with children and therefore more likely to stand up to tyrannical behavior.

Here is the Wikipedia entry on the author : Edward Carpenter. He was a gay, nudist, vegetarian who introduced sandals to England and helped found the Fabian Society and the Labour Party. Wow!