Table manners: 1807

All ceremony should he banished among epicures, especially at table. This is a truth, which we shall never cease to repeat; the reason is not difficult to define. In the first place, when epicurism is thoroughly established among people who meet for the first time, a close intimacy soon succeeds, for no formality can long exist between real lovers of the table. A similitude of tastes is ever acknowledged the best basis for friendship to rest on; real epicures also are seldom known to quarrel; they leave coolness, and dissentions to lovers, and live together like true children of Epicurus.

--From La Belle assemblée--

Real sticklers, weren't they? Almost sound like hippies!

Democracy: 2010

The governor of my state, Charlie Crist, announced he would make a political announcement today, so I decided to go. There was a lot of security around:



Also, there were a lot of reporters:







There were probably as many reporters, campaign staff, and security people as regular citizens who showed up. Here is a view early on:

After Crist supporters, the biggest group by far, were people with very generic signs, trying to save local health departments. I'm guessing they were given the day off to go and "protest" here.



There was one person against oil drilling:



One person for pot:



And some people for clean energy:



An independent thinker:



And a conservative for Crist:



Most of them seemed nice and cheerful, but some of the USF students were shouting things like "Muslim President!" and "Socialism!", being in support of those things.

There were some signs for teachers for Crist and women for Crist. I thought there were a lot, but at one point I was up on the stage:



And they told everyone to get off who wasn't a teacher (and invited), and it turned out there were only about ten of them.

I assume they filled out the stage with campaign workers. This guy was is a suit handing out signs and he ended up holding a sign on stage:



When Crist came, he shook his hand.

I'm guessing there were 300 people there, including reporters and security. Here's a video where I spun around:

Eventually Crist shows up, and I got to see his ear:



He gives a speech and announces he's running for Senate as an Independent. It was a strange announcement, because he didn't pause to allow people to clap, or really "announce" anything. It was more like he mentioned his running as an Independent in passing.

At one point he talked about how we need "a new tone", how people should be able to disagree while still being civil. As he goes on people start chanting "Crist! Crist! Crist!" and I chant "Rubio!" (his Republican opponent) and boo. I'm not a Republican, I just don't like Crist. And I'm not going to apologize for booing, because this was an event open to the public, for a politician who loves to say how he's always listening to the people. Well, I had something to say, and I booed. It's how I express myself, *swear word* *swear word*.

I was called a "moron", someone pushed me (accidentally?), one of the teachers on stage turned around and told me to shut up; someone even made a crack about how there were lots of idiots like me where he came from, Alaska. So much for "a new tone".

I think I was the only person up there booing. There were a few people with Rubio signs off in the distance.



I asked one, why they weren't up there booing and they said they weren't a rabble-rouser. I guess that means I am one.

Here's a shot I took right after Crist left; I think it captures pretty well how many people were there:



Anyway, I had fun exercising my right to free expression. Yay Democracy!

To make a call: 1898

To "make a call" has an inelegant robustness of tone to one not used to hearing it; but Americans cannot plead that they are not used to hearing it. And the expression is not only general, but universal here. "Paying visits," the neat substitute for the rougher phrase, is not yet in colloquial use.

If you "made a call" you were visiting someone in person; people had telephones, but they would "call someone up" if they decided to do "telephoning".

It is a good rule to stay only fifteen minutes at a formal, at any rate a first call, unless, of course, urged to stay longer for some special reason.

When you did make your call you only got fifteen minutes to leave an impression; the original fifteen minutes of fame.

Above all, don't keep her standing an hour, while you lecture or "orate," or go over somebody's history, while everybody else sits about looking foolish.

Calling was kind of like the acting out a blog. Someone would sit at home and a stream of people would come in leaving comments; some of the comments were weird and went on forever.

Put your card on a convenient place in the hall, or on the tray the servant holds out for you, and mention your name to the manservant, if there is one.

You would leave little cars with your name on them, to let people know you were there.

This also makes me think of blogs. Sometimes I see blogs as establishments I visit. I make the rounds every once in awhile to make sure everyone is still alive.

Leaving other people's cards is a rather precarious business, and done at the caller's risk! It is not pleasant to meet your hostess driving in just as you sail out with the consciousness of having done a good stroke for a friend.

And no sock-puppets!
--From Etiquette for Americans--

Journlists: 1898

The "interview," try to disguise the fact as one may, is an acknowledged evil. Few persons of taste like it but as there are many who desire to be represented as holders of certain important opinions, and many more who are willing to sacrifice their privacy to something, call it public good; as there are thousands with tastes perverted or vitiated who wish to appear in print on any pretext—the few who hate notoriety, and consider publicity on any pretext poisonous, must submit to their fate.

The world would be improved by less knowledge of harrowing details of private griefs.

--From Etiquette for Americans--

 Reporters weren't exactly considered respectable members of society, and they pretty much aren't anymore either.

I don't see how they'll get it back now that we can can release our own harrowing details via Facebook or Twitter. Reporters, anybody can do that job.

Desperate Housewives: 398

In a word, while many matrons, who had milder husbands, yet bore even in their faces marks of shame, would in familiar talk blame their husbands' lives, she would blame their tongues, giving them, as in jest, earnest advice: "That from the time they heard the marriage writings read to them, they should account them as indentures, whereby they were made servants; and so, remembering their condition, ought not to set themselves up against their lords." And when they, knowing what a choleric husband she endured, marvelled that it had never been heard, nor by any token perceived, that Patricius had beaten his wife, or that there had been any domestic difference between them, even for one day, and confidentially asking the reason, she taught them her practice above mentioned. Those wives who observed it found the good, and returned thanks; those who observed it not, found no relief, and suffered.

--From The Confessions of Saint Augustine--

 That was some interesting marital advice.

Murder: 398

In quest of the fame of eloquence, a man standing before a human judge, surrounded by a human throng, declaiming against his enemy with fiercest hatred, will take heed most watchfully, lest, by an error of the tongue, he murder the word "human being"; but takes no heed, lest, through the fury of his spirit, he murder the real human being.

--From The Confessions of Saint Augustine--

 Don't mess with grammar!

British Royalty, circa 1700

BARGAIN. To sell a bargain: a species of wit, much in vogue about the latter end of the reign of Queen Anne, and frequently alluded to by Dean Swift, who says the maids of honour often amused themselves with it. It consisted in the seller naming his or her hinder parts, in answer to the question, What? which the buyer was artfully led to ask. As a specimen, take the following instance: A lady would come into a room full of company, apparently in a fright, crying out, It is white, and follows me! On any of the company asking, What? she sold the bargain, by saying, My a-se.

-- From Grose's classical dictionary of the vulgar tongue--

Dirty dancing: 1833

The waltz is a dance of quite too loose a character, and unmarried ladies should refrain from it altogether, both in public and private; very young married ladies, however, may be allowed to waltz in private balls, if it is very seldom, and with persons of their acquaintance. It is indispensable for them to acquit themselves with dignity and modesty.

--From The Gentleman and Lady's Book of Politeness and Propriety of Deportment--

Young people these days with their wild dances. The type of things they do in public!



It's practically pornographic.

Female mysteries explained: 1833

Married or young ladies cannot leave a ball-room or any other party alone. The former should be accompanied by one or two other married ladies, and the latter by their mother, or by a lady to represent her.

--From The Gentleman and Lady's Book of Politeness and Propriety of Deportment--

This is why women always go to the bathroom in groups! It's an old rule of propriety which has managed to survive when so many others have fallen by the wayside.

Something borrowed: 1833

When a lady has borrowed ornaments of another, as for instance, jewels, the latter should always offer to lend her more than are asked for; she ought also to keep a profound silence about the things which she has lent, and even abstain from wearing them for sometime afterwards, in order that they may not be recognised. If any one, perceiving they were borrowed, should speak to the person of it, he would pass for an ill-bred man. If the borrower speaks to you of it, it is well to reply that nobody had recognised them. All this advice is minute, but what kind will you have ? it concerns female self-esteem.

--From The Gentleman and Lady's Book of Politeness and Propriety of Deportment--

The last sentence is so French... I practically want to clap my hands upon reading it.

You were brilliant Madame Celnart, brilliant.

Advice on trolls: 1833

But if you have to do with one of those people who, possessed with a mania of discussion, commence by contradicting before they hear, and who are always ready to sustain the contrary opinion, yield to him; you will have nothing to gain with him. Be assured that the spirit of contradiction can be conquered only by silence.

--From The Gentleman and Lady's Book of Politeness and Propriety of Deportment--

Timeless advice.

Problems: 1833

If a lady has cares, let her conceal them from the world, or not go into it.

--From The Gentleman and Lady's Book of Politeness and Propriety of Deportment--

You've got problems? No one wants to hear them!

Lucrezia Borgia, she had problems. Like not bringing enough antidote for all the people she poisoned. I'm sure the book of deportment will cover that in a later chapter.

Greeting cards: 1833

We have before said that when we do not find persons at home, or when we are afraid of disturbing them, we leave a card; but this is not what we call particularly visits by card (visites par cartes.) In these last visits, it is not our object to see the persons, since we do not ask for them, and we confine ourselves to giving our card to the porter or domestic. This custom, which has been introduced necessarily among persons of very general acquaintance, and especially at times when every one ought to be visited, as on the new year's day, is not considered ridiculous; but it becomes so by the great extent which has been given to it for some time past. This extent consists in making a visit without leaving our apartment; that is to say, merely by sending our card by a domestic, or indeed by means of an agency established for this purpose. The practice of visits by cards, seems to persons of good society the most impertinent and vulgar thing which can be imagined.

--From The Gentleman and Lady's Book of Politeness and Propriety of Deportment--

Some people send out greeting cards thinking they are keeping a nice tradition alive; but traditionally, business cards were the only cards given out, and almost always in person.

What was considered especially vulgar was leaving out cards other people gave you.

Take that Hallmark!

KISS: 1833

...simplicity is the coquetry of genius.

--From The Gentleman and Lady's Book of Politeness and Propriety of Deportment--

Their version sounds nicer than ours.

Gems, 1833 edition

-Thanks to custom, it is sufficient in order to be recognised as amiable, that he who is the subject of a malicious pleasantry may laugh as well as the author of it.

-Moderation in every thing is so essential, that it is even a violation of propriety itself to affect too much the observance of it.

-To dress with neatness, and elegant simplicity is important, even at home.

--From The Gentleman and Lady's Book of Politeness and Propriety of Deportment--

I thought I'd take these sentences out of context and present them as aphorisms.

Fashion tips, 1833 edition

To suppose that great heat of weather will authorize this disorder of the toilet, and will permit us to go in slippers, or with our legs and arms bare, or to take nonchalant or improper attitudes, is an error of persons of a low class, or destitute of education.

No shorts!

For to make a noise in walking is entirely at variance with good manners.

No flip-flops!

Young people who become bald, should not hesitate to have recourse to wigs. Nothing more saddens the appearance, than those bald skulls, which seem always to invite the observations of the anatomist.

Hair pieces are okay!

--From The Gentleman and Lady's Book of Politeness and Propriety of Deportment--

France, 1833 edition

The present work has had an extensive circulation in France, the country which we are accustomed to consider as the genial soil of politeness...

--From The Gentleman and Lady's Book of Politeness and Propriety of Deportment--

Well, the politeness of the French is still noted today. I can say that much!