Dirty dancing: 1833

The waltz is a dance of quite too loose a character, and unmarried ladies should refrain from it altogether, both in public and private; very young married ladies, however, may be allowed to waltz in private balls, if it is very seldom, and with persons of their acquaintance. It is indispensable for them to acquit themselves with dignity and modesty.

--From The Gentleman and Lady's Book of Politeness and Propriety of Deportment--

Young people these days with their wild dances. The type of things they do in public!



It's practically pornographic.

Female mysteries explained: 1833

Married or young ladies cannot leave a ball-room or any other party alone. The former should be accompanied by one or two other married ladies, and the latter by their mother, or by a lady to represent her.

--From The Gentleman and Lady's Book of Politeness and Propriety of Deportment--

This is why women always go to the bathroom in groups! It's an old rule of propriety which has managed to survive when so many others have fallen by the wayside.

Something borrowed: 1833

When a lady has borrowed ornaments of another, as for instance, jewels, the latter should always offer to lend her more than are asked for; she ought also to keep a profound silence about the things which she has lent, and even abstain from wearing them for sometime afterwards, in order that they may not be recognised. If any one, perceiving they were borrowed, should speak to the person of it, he would pass for an ill-bred man. If the borrower speaks to you of it, it is well to reply that nobody had recognised them. All this advice is minute, but what kind will you have ? it concerns female self-esteem.

--From The Gentleman and Lady's Book of Politeness and Propriety of Deportment--

The last sentence is so French... I practically want to clap my hands upon reading it.

You were brilliant Madame Celnart, brilliant.

Advice on trolls: 1833

But if you have to do with one of those people who, possessed with a mania of discussion, commence by contradicting before they hear, and who are always ready to sustain the contrary opinion, yield to him; you will have nothing to gain with him. Be assured that the spirit of contradiction can be conquered only by silence.

--From The Gentleman and Lady's Book of Politeness and Propriety of Deportment--

Timeless advice.

Problems: 1833

If a lady has cares, let her conceal them from the world, or not go into it.

--From The Gentleman and Lady's Book of Politeness and Propriety of Deportment--

You've got problems? No one wants to hear them!

Lucrezia Borgia, she had problems. Like not bringing enough antidote for all the people she poisoned. I'm sure the book of deportment will cover that in a later chapter.

Greeting cards: 1833

We have before said that when we do not find persons at home, or when we are afraid of disturbing them, we leave a card; but this is not what we call particularly visits by card (visites par cartes.) In these last visits, it is not our object to see the persons, since we do not ask for them, and we confine ourselves to giving our card to the porter or domestic. This custom, which has been introduced necessarily among persons of very general acquaintance, and especially at times when every one ought to be visited, as on the new year's day, is not considered ridiculous; but it becomes so by the great extent which has been given to it for some time past. This extent consists in making a visit without leaving our apartment; that is to say, merely by sending our card by a domestic, or indeed by means of an agency established for this purpose. The practice of visits by cards, seems to persons of good society the most impertinent and vulgar thing which can be imagined.

--From The Gentleman and Lady's Book of Politeness and Propriety of Deportment--

Some people send out greeting cards thinking they are keeping a nice tradition alive; but traditionally, business cards were the only cards given out, and almost always in person.

What was considered especially vulgar was leaving out cards other people gave you.

Take that Hallmark!

KISS: 1833

...simplicity is the coquetry of genius.

--From The Gentleman and Lady's Book of Politeness and Propriety of Deportment--

Their version sounds nicer than ours.

Gems, 1833 edition

-Thanks to custom, it is sufficient in order to be recognised as amiable, that he who is the subject of a malicious pleasantry may laugh as well as the author of it.

-Moderation in every thing is so essential, that it is even a violation of propriety itself to affect too much the observance of it.

-To dress with neatness, and elegant simplicity is important, even at home.

--From The Gentleman and Lady's Book of Politeness and Propriety of Deportment--

I thought I'd take these sentences out of context and present them as aphorisms.

Fashion tips, 1833 edition

To suppose that great heat of weather will authorize this disorder of the toilet, and will permit us to go in slippers, or with our legs and arms bare, or to take nonchalant or improper attitudes, is an error of persons of a low class, or destitute of education.

No shorts!

For to make a noise in walking is entirely at variance with good manners.

No flip-flops!

Young people who become bald, should not hesitate to have recourse to wigs. Nothing more saddens the appearance, than those bald skulls, which seem always to invite the observations of the anatomist.

Hair pieces are okay!

--From The Gentleman and Lady's Book of Politeness and Propriety of Deportment--

France, 1833 edition

The present work has had an extensive circulation in France, the country which we are accustomed to consider as the genial soil of politeness...

--From The Gentleman and Lady's Book of Politeness and Propriety of Deportment--

Well, the politeness of the French is still noted today. I can say that much!